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Monday, May 11, 2009

Dont you ever wonder???

Here I go again ranting and raving about my crazy life, I just always wonder if it'll ever be over and if I'll even survive this. I'm sure I'll get some pretty nasty comments again from the Inlaw side of the family, But I'll face it!!! I just always wonder how people can be so mean, nasty and dishonest and honestly live with themselves for what they do & You think you know someone for 17 years and become apart of them and what seems like overnight it all changes and you dont know them at all!!! Its been almost a year of my seperation, yes I'm still going through a divorce which isnt so pretty!!! This person who I use to call my best friend has done some pretty nasty and miserable things to me during this years time, Its sad to say that I have lost total respect for this man and has never felt so much hate towards anyone as I do at this time for someone!!! I just cant make alot of sense to it!!! this is just the most recent... I wont call him by name, I just cant.... but a few years ago he bought me a mustang and surprised me with it for our anniversary, with not so much as a second thought of whether it was economical and big enough for our family, He seemed as happy with it as I was and even though it wasnt a big vehicle we hit a time in our life we wanted to have fun and enjoy it!!! Well, after he walked away from our marriage suddenly the mustang is a problem, I had to buy a second vehicle just to make him happy so he would stop complaining everytime I turned around. about a month ago I had to pick my kids up at his house in G-ville and didnt have the tahoe handy and thought it wouldnt be such an issue this one time, Well instead of him offering to bring my kids home he calls and reports me to the police for not having my kids restrained and has the cops waiting half way between gville and tooele, they precede to tell me that he has indeed reported me in front of kids and all, talk about a heartbreaking!! who would honeslty do such a thing??? This wasnt about their safety it was getting back at me!!! Its so funny that his dad did this exact thing to his mom years ago and he hated that fact!!! needless to say I'm putting my mustang up for sell to end this ongoing battle with him!!! anyone wants a mustang let me know!!! I have also been kind enough to give this guy our trailor, snowmobiles with the agreement that I can have the 4wheelers for my kids, well he too came and snatched those up while I was out one night about 2 weeks later, now I have no fun with my kids, Yet, he helped his lady friend go get herself a new vehicle & camp trailor and he has been helping her haul it around and have all this fun with her 5 kids. I guess that only this man and this lady are the only ones allowed to have any fun!!! serioulsy what kind of man would treat the mother of his kids the way he does!!! I have just never been so hurt and cant figure out why this guys is being so mean to me, he tells me that my kids dont want to be hear cause my house is so messy and disgusting!! I just want to say that I know I'm not the most organized and I'm not one to be anal about my house and for anyone who has gone through anything like this, it has been the hardest most difficult trial to go though, its easy for him cause he walked away with and started new & left me with 17 years worth of things we aquired over the years, trying to keep up on the house, being a single parent and working all at once. not to mention how there our days that I just dont care and I dont want to get out of bed let alone worry about my house, my life is in shambles now and has been turned upside down my kids are being shuffled around every week and my home isnt my home anymore, there are days I just dont want to be here!!! I'm sure that some of you know what I mean. I'm just tired of him blaming me and hurting me when this wasnt a choice I had. I wasnt the one who walked away and said I was never coming back!!! How can someone be so awful??? I hear from several poeple that he puts on a good speech that he is going to take me down and I believe it, as mean as he tries to be, you know it makes me sad that someone has to be so miserable as him all I can do is keep my chin up and watch him fade away, I know that no matter how much he tries to break me down and hurt me, I have to remind myself that I know who I am and that it'll all come out in the end. Thanks to all of you who have loved me and stood beside me through this difficult time and what seems like a lifetime of hell right now!!! I just hope this doesnt continue another awful year!!! My only wish is to find some peace and joy and that I'll find that someone special. I believe itll all be worth it when it happens. Now that I'm done with my novel and speech & getting it off my chest I feel better!! Thanks again everyone!! I Truly have the greatest family and friends around!!! As much as I think my life sucks right now, Your all my biggest blessings!!!!! I love you!!!

7 comments:

Lerdahl family said...

Wendy,
I read your entry and just sit here with disgust. I can not believe the things that he has put you through. I can say that while you were married I did not get to know him extremely well, but he never seemed to be a person that would do such meanful, rotten things. The person I remember is the person pulling himself in the house to give grandpa a blessing. It just makes me so upset that someone could just do such things and be so mean to someone that did nothing but supported him, their children and did nothing to deserve all this. Keep your head up. Things are hard now but it will all work through in the end. And unfortunatley, he is the one that is losing a GREAT family and alot of friends!

Trinbean said...

hang in there...be strong...and don't give up!!!!

Snyder-mom said...

Hey Wendy,

I am so sorry you have had to go through so many awful and miserable things because your ex is so heartless. How could somebody who used to be so close treat you like that. How could he be so cold and so callous to you. Is it not bad enough that he walked away from you and his family, that he has to pour salt in the wound? I'm sorry Wendy, you are so much better than he could ever be and deserve so much more than he could ever give you.
I hope and pray that you find the most amazing guy that will love and appreciate you the way you should be, and I hope that one day your ex will be kicking himself really really hard to see what he missed out on.

Mamma Morgan said...

As I read this I started feeling sorry for you! However, by the end I am feeling sorry for him. I would have to hate to be him and answer for all the things he has put you and the kids through. How can a man that was all about family put his own kids through this mess. Falling out of love is one thing but this is pur cruelty to the kids! You know how to get a hold of me if you ever need anything. Love ya keep smiling.

friend said...

before everyone gets on the pitty party the truth is yes i took the 4 wheeler because wendy had her boyfriend fixing one getting ready to take them and my kids were hurt and told me they thought it wasnt fair. nothing is decided on who gets what so yes i took them, if the courts say she gets them i have no say. but untill then i will help them feel better. the truth about this whole sob story is that this brian and wendy got drunk and forced all 4 of my children into 2 bucket seats and i confronted him at walmart the same day wendy posted this but she dont want anyone to know. so, this is what she does. O and thanx for the trailor and payment you forgot to mention. also this post will be deleted soon so my kids dont get questioned. also, thank you trina and jodi for watching out my kids.

Wendy said...

need less to say the poesseions were indeed already taken care of and we agreed on it right from the start, I have it on paper, but if it wasnt then why did you take it all and the frontroom set if it hasnt been decided!!! I'll remember this Russ!!! Needless to say what you may think happened back in ocotber in the mustang that was october and you have noone to back you up on that!!! You still called the cops and had me reported last month this one time when I took the mustang!!! Your mean and evil and You have no idea how much disrespect several have for you, its really sad!!! But thanks for your comments Russ they are to very much appreciated!!! everyone wants to hear what you say too!!! Happy Divorce baby!!!

Proctor's said...

wendy, I hope you don't mind I post something here. I have tried to keep an un-biased opinion of what has been going on. The only thing I can say is I am sorry for the mess your family is going through. I know that the only person who really feels what you are going through is your Savior and he is the ONLY one that can take away the aweful pain and hurt and hatred, even though the trust and love is gone. Things may never change and Russ will still live his life, but if you can use the Atonement to help you through, that will be the one thing that will put you ahead. The knowledge and happiness that can be all of yours if you choose will be far greater than any possesion or thing that can be here on this earth. Your family can still be yours forever if you have the Atonement in your life. I am truly sorry for all of the mess that you will constantly be dealing with for the rest of your life but do know there can be peace. Keep going, it is worth it!